John Astin's Dilemma: Stopping His Son from Starring in a Cinematic Disaster
In the world of cinema, few things are as entertaining as a bad movie night with friends. Some of us even revel in the worst of the worst, like the cult classics "Plan 9 from Outer Space" or "Manos: The Hands of Fate." But there are limits, and one such disaster is "The Garbage Pail Kid Movie," a cinematic train wreck that even John Astin, the legendary actor known for his role as Gomez in the original "The Addams Family," couldn't save his son from starring in.
The story begins with Mackenzie Astin, the young star of the film, who was a fan of the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards that were all the rage in the mid-80s. The cards, a grotesque and irreverent parody of the Cabbage Patch Dolls, sold over 800 million units, and Mackenzie saw the live-action adaptation as a chance to make the leap to the big screen after finding success in NBC's sitcom "The Facts of Life." Little did he know, his father had other ideas.
John Astin, the veteran actor, smelled a rat and tried to warn his son. He offered sage advice, but the contracts were already signed, and Mackenzie was committed. The movie, however, turned out to be a disaster, gaining notoriety as one of the worst films ever made, with a 0% critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
The film follows the antics of the very gross occupants of a garbage can-shaped spacecraft, who find refuge in a tatty antique store owned by Captain Manzini. When a fight breaks out between Dodger, Mackenzie's character, and a gang of street toughs, the kids are unleashed on the outside world, causing chaos and mayhem. The central theme of not judging people by their appearance is undermined by the fact that the mischievous aliens are just as vile on the inside as they are on the surface.
Despite Mackenzie's efforts, the movie is almost unwatchable. The character designs, created by William Butler, are so repulsive that they break the film whenever they're on screen. The animatronic component of their faces regularly malfunctioned on set, creating an uncanny and unnerving effect. The screenplay, too, defines the characters only by their gross gimmicks, resulting in a lack of charm and personality.
The movie lacks the accidental sublime moments of humor or invention that make a film 'so bad it's good.' It doesn't even have any value as a kitschy relic of the 80s. The stench of the original film lingered so long that even a new 'Garbage Pail Kids' film was canceled in 2013 due to its overwhelmingly negative legacy. If you're still tempted to see it, be warned: it's a cinematic disaster!
